The Beginning of the End
How does one begin to contemplate the road to a conclusion? Knowing it will be the hardest part of the journey up till this point? To reach the end and know with no certainty that anything of immediate glory lies ahead. Relief? And then what..? What goes after this time of brief nothingness and absent pressure? The pressure to achieve and the pressure to ensure the journey actually had some value- it is our eternal quest forward, and our resistance to change. We do not exist in the difficulties of the present, but rather are forced to endure them in a reduced state of self, where we are not present and whole to ourselves, to our friends to whom we owe so much, or to anyone beyond this state of existence. The half as the whole- the person we must endure being, while we endure the scenario in which we have placed ourselves, in order to achieve a goal which seems unattainable without the qualification of our situation, while still remaining elusive even with it. For the narrow hope of success, we exist in a state of destructive struggle, where moments of vigour and joy eclipse the pain to blanket it, and the experience is deemed worthwhile in retrospect, while the mind and body attempt the marathon, while also trying to force the will of success into submission, to forfeit into failure. We are against and with ourselves. And in this time, we do what we can to survive and endure, and the soul is trained for strength, while it is pushed to breaking- the question becomes whether it will endure, will the spirit and soul break and bow, or will the thinnest strands of morality maintain? In a week of returning, after completing the first unit with the aim of pursuing into the next, as a continuation and development of the last, already, ones soul feels aged, and the mind and body are at odds, attempting to revitalise the will even as it struggles against reality. The challenge of the soul exacts a heavy toll, while the driving passion, which maintains even as the flame burns lower, forces the continuation against the tired soul. One will endure. One can endure. One will ensure. One must.